Ramadan Mubarak!!

Hello everyone! Sorry I have not posted lately. I have been off the computer because of Ramadan. I felt it gave me some more closure and time to think and plan my life from the way it was going. And I have been fixing everything I can fix. Now the rest is in God's Hands and I pray to him to help me.
Now enough with that. I have missed you readers! And from my fan mail and comments said to me I am assuming you missed me also. Which I don't mind at all. With my internship ending on Monday and trying to find myself a new job I have a lot of free time. This can be good and bad. The first thing on my agenda is to rev up my exercise. I am slowly hitting a plateau and I am not going to hit it gracefully I am going to collide into it and charge forward full force. Nothing is holding back my weight loss anymore. Once it is gone, it is gone for good.
So to talk about that. I want to talk about living as a young adult, you know where your primary thing to do is to eat with friends. It is SO FRUSTRATING TO HANG OUT WITH ANYONE! Seriously, I HATE HATE HATE going to eat out anymore. Way too much planning involved. It takes the joys out of it. I mean it is great that I can sit and talk to my friends, catch up or whatever, but in all honesty going out period is a pain in the butt.
First I have to know exactly where we are going, how long we will be out for, if we are going to go out and eat, where we will eat, etc. The list goes on. I have to pack a bag for everything. Some snack food if we don't go out but I start to get hungry. Water, I now pack 5 or 6 bottles just for myself so I can stay hydrated. A protein shake, in case I am majorly hungry. My epi-pen in case we go somewhere there is peanuts. My inhalers so I don't have an asthma attack. And then I pack whatever else I need for the day. All I know is when it comes to children I will be MAJOR prepared for whatever comes my way because I will be packed for it. Anyways at restaurants I can only eat about 4 things on the menu, then I can't order a drink or I can but can't eat. So I have to choose wisely, either which way nothing ever gets finished and I get weird looks from the waiter or waitress for being the fatty who couldn't finish their meal. I have found things like walks and sitting in the park or going to the beach way more enjoyable. Which I guess is the whole point of surgery but other than that I just have found a new hatred towards eating.
It is weird to realize how with one procedure your life changes. From friends you hang out with, to the choices you make and the activities you do. Like if I spend a day laying down I think to myself wow you are totally lazy you need to get up and go do something. Prior to surgery I didn't care I could lay down for that day and not care about anything going on. I was active when it came to fun, but lazy when it came to work. I feel so much more healthier and adventurous. My whole life seems to have taken a turn for the better.
I should tell everyone right now upfront, since we are speaking of my life changing for the better, I have decided to convert to Islamic Beliefs. It has truly spoken to me as a whole. And before anyone starts being ignorant, no it doesn't mean I am going to blow anything up, or whatever.
I have only been focused on the religious aspect of my life for about two months or so. However, I have been dedicated to it. I am planning to read the Shahada after Ramadan. I have sadly lost a few friends over converting but have gained many more. It is funny what happens to you when you grow up and do stuff on your own for once. Anyways this isn't a religious blog, this is a weight loss blog so I am going to continue with my weight loss.
I have been losing weight steadily and in another 2 months or so I will be hitting my half a year. My book is coming along wonderfully. I totally cannot wait for it to be finished next May. I am also working on two other books. One is about my medical life and slightly inspirational read and the other is a book about teenage and young adult depression and anxiety. The second one will take A LOT more work because I am fusing myself into the book along with facts and medical studies. I really want to reach out and help people who are in my shoes or been in my shoes and help them where I can. One reason I was depressed or am is because I always feel unneeded and alone. If my book makes one person not feel like that then I will be so much happier with my life, knowing what I did to help someone that day.
I should let you all know I am currently transitioning to a new location, and a new school. However I will make sure to keep this updated as much as possible on everything. I am so excited about starting my new life. Also I am starting a fundraiser for my new college because I can't afford it and sadly financial aid did not help me out as much as I had hoped. So if you would like to help out I am going to leave the link on my blog and you can donate. Thank you so much everyone. And Remember Stay Beautiful. By the way stay tuned for Deep Confessions Part 2. So excited!


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