I went to a Sober Fest this week as I have told you all in the last blog...And I must say, I never thought in my life I would be so mind blown at everything that is in my mind about life. I really thought I was ok and that all my problems were fixed, but they were just beginning and I just went and buried them. And they were things I should have talked to people about.
I have told people I have been clean from self harm for two years now. Which to a degree is the truth. I haven't exactly self harmed as in cutting or burning or attempting suicide. However, I have lived life VERY carelessly. Go a week or two without eating or drinking, walking dangerous areas, hanging with really horrible people, mixing drinks with doctor prescribed medications, the list goes on. And so I am not FULLY clean. But I am going to do so, especially after this past long weekend. I know I have come a long way from my miserable past
This past April a bunch of groups were trying to raise awareness for sexual assault and domestic violence. I would hear people make jokes about it, sometimes even laugh it off with them, but in the end I felt horrible, almost like garbage, because I was one of the people they were laughing about. Even while being in the medical field I still ignored everything. I wanted to act like that night didn't happen. I wrote about it as a blog post, but I didn't want to go further than I did.
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